"I apologize everyone."
I know, I missed last week's post. I am truly sorry but have a good reason for it. I've been told that I always have a 'come-back' to missing appointments, dates, commitments, etc., and personally, it hurts when people accuse me of 'flaking.' Not to say that I don't flake on purpose (depending on the situation, of course), but I'm a person with emotions, too, and I am a fragile being that takes offense at things said about me like the one above. But seriously, I do have a good reason (this time)!
I MET A GIRL!
Yup, it's quite extraordinary! So, when I should have been posting, I was actually talking to her via IM during work last Friday. She's gorgeous, funny, down-to-earth, smart, successful, and did I mention she was gorgeous? Get ready boys and girls for the story of how I met your mother; just kidding, it probably won't come to that, but who knows?
I meet up with a bunch of friends who work in the same complex for lunch every week and we decided to hit up this "hole in the wall" Tapas place. It wasn't too much of a "hole in the wall" but it was dimly lit (which might have been just for the ambiance). Anyways, we're eating at the Tapas place and we ordered a crap load of food considering three choices were Matt's, and in walks your mother (just kidding), in walks a group of corporate business women. Right off the bat, our heads turn (except for Matt who's really into his Mozzarella dish). A smile comes across our faces and the bio-tech research assistant across from me says "let's Johnny Cash it." And, everyone (including Matt) nods.
Okay, for those who totally didn't understand the above paragraph, let me shed some light on the subject. Remember when I posted that I worked at a snack food company when I was in high school? Well, that's where I met the bio-tech research assistant sitting across from me. We both were temps working as packers. Yes, it does sound kind of "dirty," but packing isn't as easy as it sounds. Imagine trying to stuff four large bags of chips into a cardboard box and then close it while another set of four bags is coming at you on a high-speed conveyor belt! Lost crazy pounds when I worked there; sweating all the time, plus take into consideration the hot summers!
But I digress. Tony came up with the phrase "let's Johnny Cash it." Are you ready for the complexity that is Tony? There was a long yellow line in front of each 'packing station' that spanned the entire 'packaging floor area.' Alongside this, was a thicker block of yellow line that designated the safe area to walk on when someone was on the floor. Well, we would make fun of the managers as they came onto shift with their tucked-in polo shirts and clipboard. They would walk the length of the floor and then back, and most likely we wouldn't see them until lunch time or clock out time. Well, as temps, we were part of a group of people that came from every walk of life including college. And, as poor college students, tons of girls would temp during the summer or as Tony put it "tons of HOT girls" would temp during the summer. So, we would make fun of the managers as they "walked the [yellow] line" and Tony finally realized that they were probably checking out the hot temps as they walked the length of the floor.
Naturally, Tony told me and by the end of the week he had coined the phrase "let's Johnny Cash it." So, once he used that phrase, everyone who knew of the meaning would nonchalantly walk down the yellow block line, on the way to the bathroom or drinking fountain, and check out the girl temp packers. Therefore, the phrase was born and it stuck. He'd call it out in the mall sometimes, adding a bit more complexity to it as well. Walking past the mannequins in the shop windows, he would ask, "who would you go for if the clothes resembled the personality?" 9 times out of ten, Tony would choose the mannequin with the skimpiest outfit; typical.
Going back to our lunch, Tony called out the magical phrase and we feasted on our new surroundings where my eyes fell upon another's. She resembled a tanned skinned Victoria Beckham post-blonde phase with the bluest blue eyes I've ever seen (ok, kid in the front row, brunettes aren't typical blue eyed, but she was sporting those FreshLook Color contacts so that answers your question ! *Raspberry*) I was smitten right then and there.
After devouring our orders of tapas and debating which corporate hottie was the hottest, I noticed my blue-eyed vixen make her way to the register. So, trying to be "all James Bond about it," I took the cash on the table and followed her. Matt made it apparent that we didn't need change which made the group of corporate business women giggle at my lame attempt to make the Fates work for me. So, with my confidence starting to slip away, I turned to walk back towards my group of friends. A voice inside my head told me to stop being a wuss and make contact which made me abruptly stop and turn back towards the register. If you think I happened to bump into her with my abrupt turn and this started the ball rolling, then you're wrong. I actually bumped into a waiter bringing a tray of waters to a table and got drenched; which a soaked off-white Gap polo shirt sticking to my 'wife beater' tank top and beer gut wasn't too alluring to the opposite sex.
Of course, my group of friends started to laugh hysterically at me and the group of business women did the same. She didn't even acknowledge the entire incident and walked out the door (out of my life, as it were). So, here I am, drenched and pretty much humiliated. I walk back to our table where the laughter hasn't ceased . Our waitress comes over and hands me a towel and a card with a 'wow, I'm glad I'm not you' smile. Turns out, the bombshell left the waitress her business card and cell number to give to me before we left. Now that's "James Bond" smooth!
My friends hassled me the entire way back to our offices and by that time, I was dry. Ignoring them, I contemplated if I should call 'Elisabeth' as her card revealed. She was a CPA for a some big-wig software company. I didn't buck up the courage until after work to call her up and even that, it went straight to voice mail. So, trying to be all 'calm, cool, and collected,' I left a message with my number asking if she wanted to join me for 'happy hour' at "Aragon" downtown and left it at that.
Two days later, I finally get a call back and we set up a happy hour date for that evening. We hit it off pretty well and I genuinely had fun. She did, too, because we planned meeting up again the following night. Now that was a crazy 2nd date which included a whole lot of orange hot sauce.
Anyways, life was good until a couple of days ago when she had to fly out to do some financial audits for her company in New York. The three hour time delay sucks so we mostly talked on IM which brings me to why I didn't post last Friday. So, why am I posting now? No, boys and girls, we didn't break up; at least I don't think we did. With her being on the east coast and work starting to get a little bit busier for me, we just hadn't found time to talk. The occasional text during the day is the common and oh yeah, I started to read again.
Elisabeth's mom was an English teacher so she grew up reading all the time. I mean, I use to read back in the day, but it was strictly "Hardy Boys" and the like. Well, Elisabeth's ex was 'a-literate' which means he chooses not to read (but he can read), and so, she planted the idea we should read the same book and talk about it as we read; kind of a two-person book club. So, we decided on this book called "The Book of Air and Shadows" written by Michael Gruber. It's sort of similar to "the Da Vinci Code" but the story revolves around Shakespeare and deciphering codes. It's actually not bad. So, we've been talking about that when we do chat and it's pretty nice. Feels a bit more grown-up talking about intellectual things, etc.
She's suppose to fly back today for the weekend, but mainly to spend it with family since it's Easter weekend. Desiree, Matt, and I have a traditional easter egg hunt that we do together, so I'm looking forward to that on Sunday. I'll probably post about it next week. All right, boys and girls, it's time for me to say 'adieu' and wish everyone a Happy Easter Holiday (and to those lucky bastards still in college, go crazy during Spring Break next week!)